Waking Up in the Dream

August 16, 2017 at 12:32 pm

It’s the same part of the dream I always wake up in. I just got out of class. I walk down the hall and three flights of stairs with the herd, anxiously pushing through the slow ones, until at last I fling open the double doors and skip down a few more steps to freedom.

The sun warms my air-conditioned skin, my lungs fill with fresh air, the palm trees sway in the breeze, and the birds are singing in my university’s beautifully landscaped gardens.

I smile as I walk toward the parking deck, thinking about whether I should pick up Chipotle before I head to the beach to meet my roommates.

And then suddenly it hits me, I have two more classes. My work is not done, and by the time it is it’ll be nearly dark and time to go wait tables.

“Oh well, I can skip them just this once, right?” I ask myself.

“No,” I remind myself. “You’ve been skipping algebra and economics all semester.”

“Is it even possible to pass at this point?”

“Well you better at least try, the last thing you want to do is spend another semester here.”

“Wait a minute – haven’t I already graduated? Or do I have to take Algebra 2 one more time? How many times have I taken this goddamn class?”

“No, I graduated. I don’t go to college anymore. I didn’t even need to go to college. It was a total waste of time. And money.”

“I’m a stay-at-home mom, with a blog and a kid. We’re about to live in a camper and travel the country.”

“How do I keep getting stuck here?”

“Oh yeah, it’s just a dream. I’ve had it a million times.”

“Well, I’m in control of my dreams, and since it doesn’t fucking matter, I’m going to the beach.”

“Damn it. Why didn’t I do this in real life? I feel so powerful. So free. Who convinced me I wasn’t powerful and free back then?”

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