Fabric Softener Sales Plummet Because Millennials Won’t Buy It

July 2, 2018 at 1:03 am

Proctor & Gamble blames it on Millennials being too dumb to figure out what fabric softener is, but more likely it’s because they’re too smart to pay to coat their clothing in carcinogens and neurotoxins

Fabric softener sales have dropped by around 25 percent over the last decade.

Proctor & Gamble is blaming Millennials for the lost sales, the head of the company saying they “don’t know what the product is for.”

The vice president of Snuggle was a little more honest with herself, saying it was likely because Millennials are more “eco-conscious” than their parents’ generation and don’t want to use too many chemicals in their home.

The liquid product became popular in the 1960s when detergents and washing machines left clothes feeling more stiff. Detergents, washing machines and fabrics have all improved since then, but most importantly, so have Millennials awareness about the toxic chemicals lurking in the now-obsolete product, which include:

  • Alpha Terpineol: can cause central nervous damage and respiratory problems
  • Camphor: causes central nervous disorders, is easily absorbed through skin
  • Chloroform: a carcinogenic neurotoxin preferred by Ted Bundy
  • Benzyl Acetate: linked to pancreatic cancer
  • Benyl Alcohol: respiratory tract irritant
  • Ethanol: on the EPA’s ‘hazardous waste’ list, can cause central nervous system disorders
  • Ethyl Acetate: a narcotic on the EPA’s ‘hazardous waste’ list
  • Limonene: a known carcinogen that irritates eyes and skin
  • Linalool: causes central nervous system disorders and depresses heart activity

For a more natural way to soften your clothes, EcoWatch recommends adding 1/2 cup of baking soda (this one will last the rest of your lifeto the wash cycle and 1/2 cup of white vinegar during the rinse cycle.

Or buy or make some 100% wool dryer balls.

RELATED: Millennial Women Reject the Razor: 1 in 4 Don’t Shave Underarms